On Writing: Who do you write for? Last night I spent a few hours reading through my old online journals through college, and sharing the best nuggets with friends. One thing that surprised me was the frequency in which I wrote. Faithfully, 3 or 4 times a week. The detail. The thinking in those pages. What a gift to my future self.
I think there’s something wonderful about writing to yourself and for yourself.
Who do you serve? There’s an Adam Grant tweet going around this week. (I’m currently mid-read of Think Again, which I’m enjoying.) “Too many people spend their lives being dutiful descendants instead of good ancestors. The responsibility of each generation is not to please their predecessors. It’s to improve things for their offspring. It’s more important to make your children proud than your parents proud.”
A few of the things that I’ve been very consistent at in the new year: going to bed with a clean sink and setting the coffee maker, and meal planning for the week.
I picked up a few extra bouquets of yellow flowers to surround myself with COLOR today. Two bunches from Trader Joe’s. The pink bouquet was from a delightful zoom flower arranging class with Alice’s Table.
⚡️ This week, I’ve been thinking about activation energy. Specifically, it takes me a disproportionate amount of effort to get started on things, even if I *desperately want* to do them. So cutting down any steps at the beginning of doing something, and making the first one or two steps I do simple to focus on action is key.
For tidying dishes, for instance, if I think about the effort to wash them, my brain overwhelms. Instead, I shift the focus to the first small step: turn on the water and let it get warm. This is enough to get the whole process going, and stay consistent with it.
Weekly Meal Plan 2/19/22
Next week I’ve outsourced most of my meals to WeCo, a local food delivery service. Why? Because much of my focus is going to be on working on our platform re-launch at Ompractice! The past several months have been low on energy. And WeCo meals are delicious, and the kind of food I enjoy cooking for myself, so I don’t feel deprived of the thing that brings me joy. (They’ve now expanded to New Hampshire!)
Dinners:
Sat: WeCo sweet chili shrimp + rice bowl sweet chili shrimp, brown rice, pickled celery + cucumber and kimchi + ginger slaw with sesame garlic vinaigrette
Sun: Turkish Spinach and Meat (although this might get swapped!)
Mon: Canadian Blue Box Kraft Mac and Cheese (thanks to my sibling crossing the border for food two weeks ago.)
Fri: WeCo hot oil udon noodle bowl – udon noodles with miso-roasted greens, charred broccoli with fried garlic, torn herbs and chili oil for pouring on top!
Sat: WeCo grilled cheese + tomato soup the classic! griddled white bread with cheddar and creamy tomato soup on the side… and a pickle because why not!
What’s on your plate this week?
xo, Sam
PS: Next Retro workshop is up and live for next week. It’s a 90 minute *Do The Thing: Monthly Review – we’ll work together on a monthly review for the month of February on Sunday morning.
Doing something a little different this week! Over the past few years I’ve been heads down working on Ompractice, but I’ve missed leading workshops as part of my toolbox of community-driven accountability. To that end, I’m leading a workshop on Monday that I’m excited about and *Doing the Thing!
It’s like a crafting circle, but for personal reflection. Join me on 1/31 Monday at 6:30 ET for a 90 minute workshop on the Personal Retrospective! (A daily/weekly/monthly review process that’s as simple and flexible as you want it to be for yourself. We’ll design our own templates AND get a review done.) Cost: $42 Register here.
Accountability is another one of those words (like Gratitude, which I find grating) that really doesn’t capture my positive sentiment of the concept, which is: the important things in life are more fun and fulfilling when done together.
A few weeks ago, a friend asked me to share a little bit more about my review process, and I found myself writing 2500 words on the topic (It’s something I’m very passionate about!) I do a version of a retrospective regularly – daily with just a few minutes on my hands, weekly (typically with accountibili-buddy), and monthly, with a little bit more depth to the process. I’ve done a version for over ten years now, and find it a flexible process I go back to again and again because it works. The look and feel change over time, and based on my creative needs, but the bones remain the same. Here’s an excerpt of why I run this process for myself.
Using a Retro as part of your Emotional Regulation Tool Kit
Here’s why I go back to a personal review system again and again:
Retros are not simply a way to “get organized” in the bro-productivity sense. They are a self-loving practice that I choose to do to directly benefit my mental health.
The practice is structured thought work which addresses a range of needs:
Helps me review and acknowledge the work and experiences I actually completed. I think of this as the opposite of the The Zeigarnik Effect (which is the tendency to better remember unfinished tasks than completed ones). When I finish things, I tend to forget that I’ve done them, and this breaks the ever present negative thought pattern of “I haven’t done enough”. Nope, you did a lot. Give yourself grace.
Regular Gratitude Practice. I hate the word gratitude. I find it grating. I typically call these “Good Things”. There’s a boatload of science showing that giving thanks helps to improve overall happiness. Even in the most challenging times, this is reliably a mood booster for me.
Boundaries: Having a container for review makes it easier to manage my emotions and my energy during the week. I know that I don’t have to address everything in the moment, and can wait until my retro to process some of the hard stuff, knowing that it will be addressed.
Helps me to identify patterns in my behavior, actions (or non-actions), and thoughts. Specifically, what kinds of things do I do regularly that just don’t serve my goals? (I’m looking at you, mindless scrolling.)
Incentive and Cue to add more good things to my week and month to come. When I know I’m going to review things after the fact, it gives me a little bit more initiative to add things to look forward to in my calendar.
👉 Want to give yourself more satisfaction with your day to day? Learn more about the in’s and outs and design a format that works for YOU. We’ll be doing it all together on Monday. My next Retro Workshop is on Jan 31st at 6:30pm Eastern. Cost: $42 Register here.
The Second Lunch is a (mostly) food blog by Sam Tackeff about recipes, food writing, ingredient hunting, travel, healthy living, fitness, and everything in between.
Please do not steal! Email me at sam [at] thesecondlunch.com – if you’d like to use one of my photos, and I’d be happy to share my terms. Thanks!
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